It Takes a Coupon to Raise Us to the Valley

Yeah, Napa Valley. We love the joint, but we just can’t afford to tour there anymore. Thirty years ago, they hated the wine train; when we lived In San Francisco 15 years ago, they weren’t sure what to do about buses and limousines; and now, in the new year of 2012, small wineries are banding together in co-op tasting rooms and sending out Internet coupons to entice visitors.

Napa, take your meds.

I truly believe that mags like Wine Spectator can not in any way taste wines blind. How else to explain a $175 bottle, scoring 95, being classified in the “Collectibles” column, while a $37 job a couple of points lower gets relegated to “Highly Recommended” or, dude, “Smart Buys.” You say it’s all legit.

Puh-leeze, Marvin.

Years ago, a journalist asked sex-advice columnist Dan Savage what he thought was his choice for most pornographic magazine. Barely a beat: “Cigar Aficiondo,” a sister pub to WS.

And, scene; I got your ring gauge right here.

So we go to Napa Valley, albeit armed with coupons, and we had great fun up north in St. Helena and Calistoga, two of the pricier towns in the north end of the Valley. I have no idea why this visit was so cool, but the people behind the stick at Velo Vino (the folks behind the Clif Bar brand) were really personable; the wines, of course, were not spittable; ohh so tasty. Savour, another co-op tasting room mere footsteps away, housing mini-producers, was aces, too.

I was ready to call it quits, but Kathy had the urge to hit Hess, a sweet spot we hadn’t hit since we lived in SF a decade-and-a-half ago. Y’all have to understand that one of our first purchases, in that new format know as Compact Disc, was, of all things, a remaindered (remember that term), CD of the Kronos Quartet “Short Stories.” Check this out: The CD jacket (remember that term) features an Underwood typewriter in flames. It’s the same piece we saw 15 years ago, the same piece on the Kronos piece we dig, and the same piece we saw the other night.

Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.

“Again…and…again.” I.F Stone (1983) kinda reworked by Kronos. (Kathy and I repeat this loop a lot, FYI).

That’s all I’m saying. That’s all I’m saying. That’s all I’m saying.