Thursday, November 15, 2012

Outlet Malls & Oenophilia

Oh gang, craziness!

Man, the biggest thing to hit Livermore was the grand opening, almost 2 years in the making, of the Paragon Outlets mall just west of Livermore wine country.

Dude, this joint is going to do nothing to alleviate any traffic on 580, an artery to Kali Klown Kar Kulture.

Prada, Armani, Kate Spade, Brooks Brothers, Saks 5-O, plus a host of the usual factory suspects ensured that this proverbial ribbon-cutting was the biggest thing to hit this burg since Interstate 580 was paved with Petite Sirah must (I’m kidding, Merv, I’m kidding).

So, Kath has Thursday, which just happens to coincide with the grand opening, off, and she heads off for some shopping. Apparently it was crazy, but she knows how to work the crowds, so it was relatively painless for her: parking and lines.

Now, on Saturday, not so much for me. The turnout for this super-premium retail joint made sure that mall officials had to find extramural parking for everybody. Man, this parking sitch, with overflow stationing relegated to unpaved environs surrounding the mall, was some ungawdly combo of Children of the Corn IV and Brentwood’s annual festival celebrating das cob. It had me wondering if I was banished to Billy Mumy’s “Twilight Zone” territory.

See, we were meeting for a Livermore Valley Winegrowers Association-sponsored event winetasting event, “Sunset Sip & Shop,” chez mall. Ten bucks, get your glass, visit the myriad barrels on the outside mall manned by Livermore vintner staff, and then make sure not to spill a Merlot on that sweet ETRO jacket lining.

Guys, it was coolo. Outdoor sipping at multiple stations of the cross, featuring many of our Livermore faves: Occasio, Nottingham, Longevity, to name only a literal few.

As mentioned, K had to work previously, and I had the heavy lifting of visiting, solo this time, Livermore’s Steven Kent/La Rochelle winery compound on a release day to taste and pick up our Pinot Noir allotment.

A mellow mood quickly turned to road rage when it was apparent that the mall exit ramp extemporaneously extended miles down the “free”way. Eventually parked amid Anthony’s cornfield scarecrows, and brushing the hay from mein togs, I promptly got lost as to Kathy’s and mine rendezvous spot.

Whether “in” Brooks Brothers or “at” Brooks Brothers (what we got heeeeeeah is a failyah tuh communicate), we did meet up in time for the sold-out wine event to provide our ID’ed wristbands in order to taste with abandon.

Almost every winery was pouring a red and a white/sparkling; Kath was on a red jones; me on a clear for some reason (downright thirst, ya think?).

Gotta tell youse guys that, despite all the parking access/egress stuff, this dusk sip and shop was really fun. Half the merch that Kathy bought on Thursday was gone by Saturday; and the wine event allowed us to be smug to see a line, a hundred souls long at Kate Spade, with nary a stem in hand to ease the anxiety.

‘Twas nice to see the local wine folk kickin’ it, though I wonder if the next Livermore Valley Winegrowers Association event will be a car wash & straw-detailing down the way at Charles R.

Because one never wants that bad mix of hay and spilled Touriga onto factory-installed leather. I hear that it messes up that new-car smell.

Sometimes for the better. So I hear.

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